What’s your type? (A guide to blood and condoms)

So there I was, trawling through the Japanese net, looking for something to post for Friday, and what do I see? A list of odd condoms available in Japan, you can check out the original post here: (http://inventorspot.com/articles/top_10_weirdest_japanese_condoms_5537).

However, the one that caught my eye were the supposed “Blood Type condoms”.

Yes, it's a real thing

Yes, it’s a real thing

I did a little bit of digging into these condoms and found out more information about them.

Type O – It would seem as though the type O condoms are the normal ones, although they do advise the users to seek a woman with type AB blood for “hot love” but also to tolerate how selfish they can be in the sack.

Type A – Or “featherlight”, as they may otherwise be known. In Japanese blood-typing, A’s are the stolid, dependable type, who apparently need a little extra stimulation to get them going, hence the extra-thin material.

Type B – Classic ribbed here, B’s are independent souls, but it appears as though they are not independent lovers, since they seem to care about their partner’s enjoyment too.

Type AB – AB’s are supposedly the most organized and thoughtful, so it comes as no surprise that their condoms are also the most technologically advanced. Not satisfied with mere ribs, AB’s go in for diamond shaped studs, to try to increase their potential.

 

But WHY is blood type such a big deal here?

Well, the answer to that is tied up in a whole load of attempted genetic typing of humans and sub-humans, so we won’t get into it here, but suffice it to say that today, in Japan, one of the first things people will ask of you is your blood type. Seriously, there’s nothing sinister about it, it’s similar to western astrology or other pseudo-science.

I

If there’s one things that can’t be racist, it’s bath salts.

So instead of looking into the all-too-serious-and-depressing history, let’s look at the amusing present, and tell you a little more about the various blood-type personalities.

They wrote BOOKS about the different types

They wrote BOOKS about the different types

Type O people are often referred to as “warriors”. They are flexible, out-going and driven… for a time. They have the perception of being quite flaky, and quick to give up on projects for something else, even if the project is going smoothly. While they are working on something, they can be driven and ruthless, but that doesn’t always last long. However, they are also the most popular and social blood type, and often take the centre of attention. Japanese people view this type as the best type.

Type A’s are called “the farmers”, and have a shy, reliable demeanour. They are supposedly uncomfortable in large groups, but can keep a cool head should the group start to panic or argue. They crave responsibility and will focus on a task obsessively until it is completed. While this makes for very skilled, artistic and succesful people, they can also be very stubborn, arrogant and obsessive.

Type B. Ah, “the Hunter”. This is my own blood type, so you’ll forgive me if I forget some of my own poor traits. Or you would, if my type wasn’t a bunch of forgetful folks. We are apparently also very individualistic, preferring to trust ourselves and follow our own creative instincts than anybody else’s. When we’re not working on a task however, the individualism comes out in a kooky, free-wheeling manner, which creates fun, even if we don’t always remember why we decided to try to cram 10 pieces of sushi in our mouths at once…

Type AB. This is where Japan gets it’s oddballs. The AB’s vacillate between driven and relaxed, reliable and easy to stress, fun and… not fun. Japan likes these people the least, since they’re so unpredictable, and Japan loves order and predictability, their wild side doesn’t have a place here. They are the kind of people who will offer to help you move a couch, but only you pivot around the corners in just the right way.

pivot

 

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